


Heart Strings (Jean's POV)

by MadelineAmyJayne



Series: Heart Strings [2]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-09
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-02-16 19:12:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2281383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadelineAmyJayne/pseuds/MadelineAmyJayne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jean is a protective son-of-a-bitch that always believes in his friends and his rights. Despite being part of a small, tight friendship group, he believes that he doesn't have a guy best friend. His life soon changes though after meeting a stranger who has befriended a member of the group. At first he feels threatened by this 'new-comer' as he does towards everyone, however after a bit of time he warms up to him and becomes his new best friend. As the group then become 'wings of freedom' - a band- a major situation occurs that impacts Jean for the worst, and makes him realise his true feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Realisation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean finally realised what a huge change in his life leaving Maria college is.

The violent ringing of the school bell echoed through the school hallways and classrooms. _I can finally get out of this shithole!_ My thoughts were interrupted by a quiet sobbing to my left. I turned in the direction of the sound, and met Sasha’s face, plastered in tears.

“I can’t believe this is it!” she blurted out, before letting her head fall back into her hands, both Connie and Maddy trying to comfort her _. Final day of Maria college, why’s that such a bad thing? Oh yeah…_

Although I hated school, and seeing all the assholes that treated my friends like shit, I kind of didn’t want to leave because of what was waiting in the future… University - _and even worse, Uni on your own!_ For now though, I was determined to stay cool, and stay close to the friends that really mattered to me: _Sasha, Connie, Maddy and Megan._

 

At the mention of her name in my thoughts, she ran in, right on queue.

“GROUP PHOTO!”

 _Fucking great…._ From the reaction of Maddy, she was as pleased as I was. Giving a small laugh I admitted defeat and rose from my chair, and headed over to pose for Meg’s ‘ _Selfie of the Year’._ Megan’s arm was outstretched, as she centred into the photo, Maddy and I either side of her and Connie and Sasha at the back.

“Everybody say cheese!” Meg called, and at that, Sasha has sprung to life.

“Cheese?! WHERE?” I chuckled along with my friends; it was moments like these I would miss in university, after our gap year.

Meg and her perfect timing got our photo taken in that exact moment. At first I thought nothing of it, until I saw it displayed on her screen. I was smiling pathetically like a little girl; _this is why I don’t smile much..._

“That’s going on Facebook” Connie said as Meg tapped rapidly at the phone, I guess to try and post it before I could stop her, tagging us all in it: Megan Masters, Maddy Francis, Sasha Blouse, Connie Springer and me, Jean Kirstein.

“Don’t you fucking dare” I grumbled under my breath so that only Maddy could hear me. _I know who’s going to comment on that..._

However, although I hated to admit it, this was probably the exemplary photograph of the group.

Walking towards the doorways of the main building, I noticed several groups, a bit like ours gathering to say their goodbyes – They’d probably never see each other again. _It’s only because of our gap year that we’re staying together, after that well..._

I almost knocked into Connie as he came to a halting stop, giving Sasha a hug and a small kiss on the cheek. _I got to admit, they were a cute couple._

I sighed, before exchanged hugs with the girls individually, and then a friendly ‘bro-hug’, as Connie called it, with him.

“YO! Horse-face! Don’t be such a –“ Eren _FUCKING Yaeger!_ I swiftly craned my neck around, passing my sight past a brunette boy stood next to the corridor door, to see him strutting, _and I mean STRUTTING,_ down the corridor. _Fucking great!_

“What the hell are you doing here Yaeger? I questioned infuriately, as I felt my hand clutch into a fist when he leaned in, arms around Connie and Maddy’s shoulders, whilst we headed out of the door.

“Just came to see my princess...” His words trailed off as he got a strong jab in the ribs from Maddy. _I don’t know why she even dated the asshole, but if she was happy, that’s all that mattered._ I saw her pout at him with annoyance.

“See Yaeger, your even pissing off your own girlfriend!” I snapped.

I saw Connie back out from the clutched of Eren, an astonished look covered his face.

“Wait, WHAT?! You guys didn’t tell us you were together!” _Connie didn’t know?!_ I saw Maddy blush slightly. O _bviously not._

“I thought you weren’t over Mikasa?” Megan said, before rapidly bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. I remembered Mikasa, she was an old friend that moved away. I had a ‘thing’ for her at one point but got painfully rejected, as Eren was the only guy in her sights. However, they never actually ‘got together’. Honestly I think it’s because Eren fell for Maddy when she moved here last term.

“Mikasa? Pfft, that was ages ago, besides she’s got nothing on my prince-“ Eren didn’t finish his sentence after the ‘death-glare’ he got from Maddy. She wasn’t the ‘average’ girl, much stronger normally, both emotionally and physically, plus she always knew how to cheer someone up. Megan and Sasha were like twins. Both ridiculously excitable, and Connie was a bit dumb every now and then, but he had a few good jokes up his sleeves. I returned my attentions back to the convocation. 

"Besides, your one to talk meg. Where's Levi?" I saw her choke as a reltaliation. I shared knowing looks with both Sasha and Connie. She totally fancied him, to be honest I could never tell what the guy was feeling. He never really changed expression, just kind of stood there.

After a minute or two of recovering, Megan was able to respond. 

"Levi? What about him?"

"You totally have a thing for him!" Sasha giggled.

Megan tried to utter out a response but failed. All that was heard was broken letters and words that supposedly fitted together to make something on the lines of 'I so don't!'.

We reached the car park, as I compared my car to the others. We all had pretty decent cars, Maddy had a beige fiat, Sasha: a black mini cooper, Eren a red golf and my ‘green bean’ ford KA. Although my family are pretty wealthy my dad always complains how I always have to get my own shit, so I ended up paying everything on this car: Taxes, insurance, the actual thing etc. The others we’re pretty lucky, although Eren had lost his mother recently, everything seemed to be okay. I sighed.

 

I headed towards my car, clipping the door open with the handle and hopped onto my seat. I then watched Connie selfishly run across the car-park abandoning Megan. They both were too young to actually drive yet, so normally got a lift or ended up getting the bus. I shivered having thought of the idea of having to catch that shit every day. _Poor Meg…_

“JEAN!” Eren’s loud-ass mouth interrupted my thoughts “Race you for the last time!” _The last time…_

“Sure thing Yeager!” I shouted back, revving my engine to prove my seriousness. _3…2….1…GO!_

I was first, driving ahead and swerving to avoid incoming cars in the park. That’s when it hit me – This would be the last time I’d ever be here, the last time we’d all be together properly. This time next year when I go to a different university than them, I’ll be alone…

A large screech brought me back to reality. _THE BUS!_ I swerved strongly to the left, barely avoiding the wing mirror. _Phew… that was close._ Eren saw his opportunity and took it, squirming past me and driving out the front gates, insuring to give me a victorious tune on his car horn. _He’d always beat me…_

Pulling up to the main junction before the exit of campus, I thought more about Megan’s ‘get together’ on Saturday. _We need to make this special… I HAVE THE PERFECT IDEA._ Smiling to myself I pulled out of the park. Maria, it was good knowing you but I’m OUTTA HERE!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :D be sure to catch up on the whole series of 'Heart Strings'. The whole jeanmarco thing be coming soon, don't worry ;)


	2. Drunken Duels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and the group get a little drunk and play some stupid games, and discuss an idea of forming a band.

The weekend rolled around in no time, and sure enough Saturday evening I began driving over to Megan’s apartment. As I drove along, I could hear the endless clatter of the beer cans stored in my boot. _I can’t wait!_ I turned into the car park assigned to the flat block, and pulled up next to everyone else’s cars. _Of course, I’m always last._ I exited the car, and headed up to the rooms.

 

A small, blue eyed girl with blond hair named Crista answered the door. She reminded me of Maddy’s roommate, Armin (who was practically a guy version of Crista) which I’d met once at her 17th Birthday Party. I walked to the lounge where the others were sprawled out over the chairs and living room rug. I placed myself next to Maddy, and watched the small girl whisper to Megan before heading to a bedroom.

“Cute flatmate” I muttered.

“Sorry to break it to you, Jean, but I think she’s taken. She won’t shut up about this ‘Ymir’ Person” Megan replied. I was about to explain I was only giving her a compliment, but I got cut off by a knock at the door. Megan headed over to greet the visitor. I then began to scan the room thinking I had missed someone when I walked in, but everyone was here. _So who can it be- wait no..._

My suspicions were right, and as Megan swung back the door, the recognisable figure of that asshole Yaeger was on show. _You've got to fucking kidding me!_

“What the hell is he doing here?!” I snarled, _this is going to fucking ruin my night._

Of course, he came back with a snappy response. “Surprised Kirstein?” I just gave him the evils in retaliation. 

“I tried to warn you Jean, before we left Maria, but you had driven off” Megan stated

“Come on you guys, settle down” Sasha said, scoffing down the popcorn that she was ‘supposedly’ sharing with Connie. I sighed quietly as he sat down next to Maddy.

 

We decided in the end to watch a film live on some movie channel, only problem was, the commercial breaks that kept flashing up after about a twenty minute chunk of the film. The most repetitive advertisement that came up was ‘ _Colossal Talent Show’_ audition trailers.

“You guys all play instruments, right?” Sasha queried out of no-where.

“Well, no. Meg plays keyboard, Connie obviously plays drums and I know how to play bass guitar, but Eren and Jean don’t. Why?” Maddy responded.

“You know... I think you guys would make a great band, if Jean sings yo-” Sasha was vocally overpowered by Eren’s hysterical laughter.

“HAHAH- JEAN SINGING? HAHA” He had to pause because he had run out of oxygen, before he continued with a girly voice and took the piss, “Oh look at me I’m Jean Kirschstein and I sing.”

 _That’s fucking it!_ I leaned forward, ready to get up and punch him square in the mouth, but Connie and Maddy held me back.

“Kick his ass later” Connie whispered, as I flopped back. _I guess he was right, I could kick off at Meg’s flat._

“Actually, Jean’s a really good singer” Maddy said, and I saw Eren’s smart-ass look wash straight off of his face. I cockily laughed at him before the convosation continued.

 

“Wait Sasha, you actually think we’d make a good band?” Megan asked.

“Well, yeah. If you practise enough, you never know; you could end up on ‘ _Colossal talent’_!”

Glances scattered around the room, and eventually convocation began. Both Connie and Megan went into full detail about it; already planning what would happen if we won, but of course common-sense eventually hit us and Maddy realised something was missing.

“Hang on a sec, how the hell are we going to be a band without a guitarist?” she questioned. “I mean, we’ve got bass but that not really enough on its own.”

Sasha looked down, concentrating fully, “Yeah, good point.” There was a few seconds of silence before I decided to add to the mix.

“Hey” I started “We could always keep it as a plan, that way we could stay in touch more often, plus who needs a guitarist? We could just keep it between us.” I saw several nods and we left it at that, and returned our attentions back to the movie.

 

The whole band idea was scattered after some daft games we decided to play, one of which was the reason I brought alcohol: ‘Wizards of Intoxication’! It was a personal favourite of mine, which actually Maddy and I made up about three months ago. I quickly raced down the staircase, whilst the others had an eating competition, to retrieve the beer cans from the boot of my car. _I’m so fucking pumped for this!_ Returning to the apartment, I found both Connie and Sasha trying to stuff their faces with steamed potatoes as quickly as possible. To no surprise, Sasha won, so we moved onto my game. The game consists of people drinking as much alcohol in two minutes, then taping the cans together to make a battle stick or a ‘staff’ as it’s known, and beat the living shit into each other. The winner then moves on to the next round etc. until finally the ultimate wizard is crowned. Luckily for me, I was driving everyone home so I didn’t have to face getting smashed with aluminium cans, _although I’d happily beat the shit into Eren._

Megan didn’t take the alcohol that well, it was her first time drinking and passed out blabbering on about something to do with microwaves. _That girl is strange…_ Due to that, the game didn’t finish.

As we helped Crista carry her into her room, and place her on the bed, my phone fell out of my pocket. It hit the floor with a thud and Meg made a complaining groan about the noise. Crista picked it up and studied the case before handing it back to me.

“Three days grace, huh?” she said “Never heard of them”

“Yeah, not a lot of people know of them, but I like their style in music and the cool album art.” I laughed “I even got meg to draw me one of the albums covers to stick to my bedroom wall!” She giggled and we walked back into the lounge. We sat down again and messed about for another hour or two but by that time, we decided it would be reasonable to leave. We said our farewells to Crista , and headed back to my car.

 

I pulled off of the street after watching Maddy waddle up to her porch step and nearly fall into the door. She was normally pretty sensible around alcohol, but she mentioned she wanted to ‘chill the fuck out’ after leaving Maria. I let out a little smile as I saw her close the door. _Tonight was great!_

The following morning I had nothing of real interest to do. I ruffled my bed sheets back so I could read the time off of my alarm clock: 08:45. _I need coffee._ I forced myself out of the warmth of my ‘bed cocoon’ and headed into the kitchen, where my roommate, Thomas, was. _He’s up early._

“Alright Wagner?” I asked, heading towards the waft of coffee coming from the machine, pouring the liquid into a mug.

“Yeah I’m good…” His words died down and he stared at the worktop.

“Your quite clearly not” I replied, walking over to him with a warmth of caffeine in my hand.

He sighed before saying anything. “It’s just.”

“Just?” I repeated.

“My dad… he died in action yesterday.” His hand clutched and he looked back down at the work-surface. _Shit._ I remember him telling me when I first moved in that his dad joined the army after his mum died.

“Damn, Man I’m sorry” I said, resting my hand on his shoulder, not really sure what to do in ‘sympathetic’ situations.

“It’s okay, we never got on that much, but you know. He always said he would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life. It’s just weird thinking he’s gone.”

_Shit, where’s Armin when you need him, I need some inspiration quote right now!_

“Look bud, I’m not going to lie to you, I’m not good with this kind of stuff, but don’t let death ever stop you.” I gave him another friendly tap on the shoulder before heading back into my room, taking sips from my cup along the way. As I reached the doorway of the kitchen I heard Thomas call to me.

“Jean?”

I turned and looked at him in response. “Hmm?”

“Go see your folks, while you still can… You won’t realise what you have until you lose it.”

“Okay” I said, starting to walk out again.

“And Jean?”

“Yeah?” I shouted back from the hallway.

“Thanks.”

 

I closed my door, and sat on my computer chair, which was next to my desk I used to use for school work. I placed my cup on an old scrap of paper, before crossing my room pulling out a pair of boxers a pair of navy jeans, a crystal white shirt, and a crimpled black tie. _Ties… urgh!_ As much as I detested them, I always wore a tie to my parents’ place, trying to ‘impress’ them after the disapproving rebellious son they got. I moved in this apartment with Thomas when I was only sixteen. I never really got on with my dad, and my mum was always complaining how I never had a ‘decent’ girlfriend. Of course she cried when I left, so I felt guilty and visited them every now and then. As I fiddled with the buttons on my shirt I thought about last night’s shenanigans. _I should probably check that Megan’s okay later._ I pulled on my jeans and drank my remaining coffee, abandoning the mug on the desk and headed for the front door, grabbing my car-keys on the way.

 

As I attempted to unlock the door, the flat phone began to ring. I swiftly answered the call, but didn’t recognise the number displayed.

“Hello?”

“Hi…” A small quiet voice could be heard from the receiver.

“Sorry. Who is this?”

“Oh it’s Christa, Megan’s roommate”

I was kind of shocked how she got my house number, guess she found it on Meg’s phone. “Oh! Hi Christa, how can I help?”

“I found a mobile on the lounge floor last night, obviously because the rooms still a bit of a mess, I didn’t discover it until this morning.” I rapidly felt my pockets in search of my phone. _Nothing._ “I recognised it as yours because of your case, so found your house number and here we are.”

“I’m such a dumb-ass. Is it okay if I come pick it up now? I’m just on my way out.”

“Yeah” She giggled “No problem, Meg is still asleep though, so you’d better be quiet.”

“Okay, Thanks Crista, see you in a bit!

“See-ya Jean.” I placed the phone back onto the stand and headed out of the door.

_Nice fucking job Jean!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :3 Be sure to keep up with the whole series and next chapter Jean meets our freckled friend ;)


	3. The Freckled Boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean and Marco finally meet!!!! Plus Jean goes visits his parents.

I stared at the blaring red of the traffic light. I was stuck behind a bus full of old pensioners and caught up in morning traffic; I didn’t arrive at my destination until one hour after I had left the flat. Not only was that enough to get on my nerves, but I was already tense about seeing my parent today.

I stood outside the flat door, when I gave a slight knock, remembering Christa’s words:

_Meg’s still asleep so you’d better be quiet._

Because I was partly responsible for Meg’s hangover I felt a slight shot of guilt in my stomach. The door gently swung open, and the small girl was stood, a bright smile on her face.

“Hello, Jean”

“I’m such an idiot!” I chuckled, “Trust me to forget.”

“You’re not an idiot you’re just...” She paused, thinking of a suitable word, “Distracted, I mean that Eren guy certainly seemed to be on your case.” She giggled, before taking a step back, allowing me to enter.

 

I strolled into the room, which we had completely razed the previous night.

“Shit.” I said, picking up a nearby beer can “I didn’t know we were this messy!”

She giggled again, before replying. “It’s okay. Meg promised to clean up, but she seemed bad last night. I might just do it myself!”

“Well I can give you hand if you want? It won’t take too long” _This was also partly my fault… so why not?_

“No that’s okay, I’m waiting for someone to come over so I’m sure they’ll be willing to help” She smiled sweetly again.

“That Ymir guy?” I asked. Christa blushed a little.

“Actually... Ymir is a girl...”

 

_Oh shit! Nice going Jean..._

 

“Oh!” I stuttered, “Sorry.”

“Nah, it’s okay. You’re not the first.” she reassured, reaching over to a nearby coffee table, retrieving my phone and passing it to me.

“Thanks” I said, placing it into my back pocket “How’s Meg doing?

“She’s still incredibly hung-over. I mean, she hasn’t even come out of her room yet.” I looked in the direction of the clock, to find it was still pretty early.

“Not surprised” I joked “Its meg, she wouldn’t be up this early anyway!” Christa said giving a half-suppressed laugh, and a moment of silence passed.

 

“So what’s with the tie and shirt?” She questioned.

I glanced down, completely forgetting how ‘dressed up’ I was.

“I’m going to my parent’s house in a bit...” I replied “Actually, I should get a move on now.”

I headed back out to the doorway, Christa following just behind. As I reached for the handle, there was a loud knock. Christa ran past me, and swung the door open, to reveal a tall, brown haired freckled girl, with sharp eyes like daggers.

“YMIR!” Christa hissed “I told you, Meg’s still asleep!”

The girl barged past, and came within inches of my face, staring at me with a threatening look in her eyes.

“Who the hell are you? What are you doing with my girlfriend?!” She snapped.

 

_WOAH! I am not taking this shit._

 

“Chill out girl, I only came for my phone, geez.” I cockily replied. I raised an eyebrow at Christa.

She snarled at me, before Christa grabbed her arm, pulling her back. Ymir pulled her arm up, and almost lifted her from the floor. Ymir leaned down to Christa.

“Let’s go out for a picnic, we can clean later or get that crazy flatmate of yours to do it.” Christa looked a bit guilty but agreed to the plans. I suddenly felt a little awkward.

“Well...” I interrupted “Guess I better be going.” I walked past the both of them and trotted down the staircase.

 

_Some-people I will never understand._

An hour later, I pulled up next to the large villa on the outskirts of Trost.

_Home..._

I clicked the door open, stepping one foot out of my car, heard the distinctive voice of my mother.

“JEAN-BOY!”

_Oh god here we go..._

“Jean-boy, why haven’t you visited before now?!”

 

I heard her rapid footsteps head in my direction. As I braced myself, I felt two cold hands grip around my cheeks and swiftly turn my face to the direction of my mother.

My eyes met with a slight wrinkled face, eyes bulging and inspecting me thoroughly as her ash-brown pony-tail flicked around. She was a pretty small woman, but had a slight rounded belly. My mother was very practical and traditional. She always wanted the best for me, I’ll give her that. But she was forceful, always signing me up for extra classes and summer schools behind my back, constantly introducing me to her friend’s daughters who she invited over all too often and completely ignored any problems I’d ever faced. To her, I was broken, but rather than fixing me she pretended the breaks didn’t exist.

 

“Hello Mum…” I sighed, trying to avoid awkward eye contact. I then received a sharp jab in my stomach where my mother had just poked me.

“Ow! What the hell was that for?!” I asked.

“You’ve lost weight Jean-boy!” She smiled and turned away, heading back up the pathway. I rubbed my eyes with my hand.

 

_This is going to be a long day!_

As I reached the porch-step my trouser pocket buzzed. I pulled out my phone to find I had a text from Connie.

 

**From Connie:**

**Hey! U up for coming to Sasha’s @6? Maddy found a new band member** **J**

_New band member? Better check this guy out._

**To Connie:**

**I’ll be there.**

 

I walked into the dining room, where I found my father reading a newspaper. He briefly lowered it, glancing at me, and then flicked it back up to continue reading. I followed my mother into the kitchen, where she began laying up an extra set of cutlery and another plate.

“Mum… I’m can’t stay for food” I quietly said, trying not to hurt her feelings. There was a loud ringing as a single fork had fallen against the table.

She turned to me “Why not?” she asked, eyes beginning to slightly fill with water.

“It’s nothing personal mum. Just I have plans…”

“Plans? A girl?” she asked. _My mother always hoped I would find a ‘suitable’ girlfriend that I could settle down with._

I sighed. “Nope, just going to see my friends from Maria.”

She turned away from me, picking up the fork once again and laying it in the correct position. “I see...” she said.

I heard footsteps come up behind me; I looked out of the corner of my eye to spot my father leaning against the kitchen door-frame.

“I’m sorry, but I’d never let them down” I said in his direction.

 

The next half an hour or so I listened to my mother’s stories about all the things I had missed since my last visit. I listened and gave the occasional “Yes”, “No” or mostly just “uh-huh” ’s. My father sat in his armchair listing and chatting every now and then. Most of the time he simply sat there quietly. Suddenly they stared asking all these random questions about what I was up to. I tried to answer as shortly as I could, otherwise I’d be here all day.

“So what are your friends like?” My mother asked.

“They’re called Megan, Sasha, Connie and Maddy” I paused. “They’re all great”

“So which one’s your girlfriend?” My mother giggled. _What?_

“I don’t understand? I just told you they were my friends and none of them are really my type” I gave her a confused stare “Why?”

My father spoke up. “Jean. Your mother was hoping you were going to bring a young lady here.”

 

_Always the FUCKING same!_

 

“Does a girlfriend really fucking matter.” I bitterly said under my breath as I put a hand across my face.

“Jean-boy! Language!” My mother scolded me “Besides, it’s not just that; you never visit.”

“I don’t get time, my friends and I like hanging out, is that such a crime?!”

“You see them all the time. Not once can you make time to come see your own parents?”

I stood up, screeching my chair against the floor. “You never really cared when I was a kid! The bullying, the teasing: you did nothing!” I slammed my hands on the table top “You never acted like parents!” I saw a tear form in my mother’s eye. “You were never there for me.”

 

My mother gasped, pulling up her hand by her chest, backing away from me like I was some sort of monster.

“You don’t mean that … Your just having one of your angry moments aren’t you Jean-boy?” She whimpered out.

“MY NAME IS JEAN! STOP CALLING ME THAT PATHETIC NAME!” I yelled. My father stood and put a hand on my mother’s shoulder.

“Jean don’t you dare speak to your mother like that.” He stared me down.

 

I had come to the end of my tether – the annoying questions, the impossible expectations and the patronisation was just too much. I stood up quickly, barging past my father with my shoulder and headed for the front door. Halfway down the corridor I heard heavy footsteps tracing me.

_Oh shit…_

 

I slammed the door, and slowly but forcefully stomped towards my car. I flopped into the seat and locked the doors, as I saw my father’s head stick out of the house doorway, soon followed by my mum’s teary face.

_Fucking great…_

I started the engine, trying to escape as quickly as physically possible. Before pulling away I could just make out what my dad was shouting at me:

“How could you make your own mother CRY, PROBLEM CHILD?!”

I clenched my fist in anger, and punched the steering wheel, avoiding the airbag, and headed home.

 

 

I burst through the front door, Thomas was in the hallway.

“How’d it go?” He asked.

“Fucking great, as you can tell!” I sarcastically shouted back, before slamming my bedroom door. I ripped the tie from my neck, hurling it across my room.

_I don’t know why I fucking bother!_

When my anger subsided, I turned on my X-box, and started gaming, glancing at the clock I worked out had a few good hours before I had to go to Sasha’s. I know it probably wasn’t the best way to deal with my problems – but blowing up shit in a virtual reality was usually a pretty good stress relief.

 

Soon enough, 6pm had rolled around and we had gathered in Sasha’s lounge. For once, I wasn’t last. I was sat alone on one of the sofas, opposite Sasha and Connie. We were just chatting casually when we heard the door click open. We turned to see Meg had run into the room and scream ‘GROUP HUG!’

Sasha screamed and she and Connie jumped up.

_Screw it, I need a hug._

I joined in the hug, but Maddy and this ‘mystery boy’ still hadn’t arrived. As we pulled out from the hug, we heard a car boot slam shut.

_They’re here..._

Connie dashed over to the hallway, and I leant to inspect outside through the window.

 

“Oh by the way Meg, I got a call from Christa about Levi” Sasha broke the waiting silence. She cocked an eyebrow at Megan with a little evil smile. I wasn’t too keen on this Levi guy. He seemed a little extreme so to say, compared to Meg.

“Oh really? Did she tell you what happened?” Megan replied, Sasha nodded and Meg continued “I’m so confused”

Sasha screamed out of no-where and as much as I hate to admit it, it made me jump. “MEGANS GOT A BOYF...” She was cut off short by Meg’s hand covering her mouth. I laughed so hard, Megan’s face was bright red and I swear Sasha tried to eat her hand at some point.

I heard Connie’s voice call from the hallway “Maddy’s here! And she brought a friend!” _Here we go..._

Megan and Sasha were gone. _Literally! I blinked and they were wrestling each other out of the lounge door._ I slowly trailed behind them, mentally preparing myself for whoever awaited me. As I walked up behind Sasha, I heard an end part of the conversation that had already started without me.

“Maybe, But mine is way more fab” Megan was saying, pouting and striking a pose and showing off her “bubble gum pink” hair. I leaned against the doorway opening, and studied the boy that stood in front of everyone. Our visitor was a guy, about my height and our age. His deep, brown hair parted perfectly through the middle, large brown eyes and cheeks plastered in freckles. _He looks terrified; it was kind of... funny? No, more like pitiful…_

I smiled to myself, but quickly changed my expression as my brain became paranoid about this unknown character and I saw Maddy looking at me.

“Marco, this is the group: Sasha, Connie, Megan and Jean”. Maddy said, pointing at us each in turn. “Guys, this is Marco.” Megan and Sasha gave girly waves, and Connie a tap on the back. I gave the briefest nod and walked back into the lounge and flopped on the closest sofa. _This guy seems nice... too nice. Something has to be up..._

Maddy came and sat next to me, Marco the other side. Both Sasha and Megan sat inches in front of the ‘new guy’ cross-legged on the floor, and Connie sat behind them on the sofa. I couldn’t help but look at Marco, investigating his every move. _I’m not sure about this..._

“So how’d you meet Maddy?” Connie had the first question.

He smiled. “Well, I was in the music shop buying guitar strings, when someone kind of, fell into me and knocked me over into a CD rack.” I saw him give out a small laugh whilst watching Maddy blush pure red of embarrassment.

 

“Wait, guitar strings?” Sasha said. “You play?”“That’s partly why I brought him here, we needed a guitarist for the band, and I thought he was a nice gu-“. Maddy began. _Hold on, we don’t even know this kid!_

“I thought we didn’t _need_ a guitarist.” I snarled, looking in her direction, but noticing the freckle boy look over slightly her shoulder, and looking somewhat worried for her.

“Well, I like Marco; I think it’s a great idea!” Connie joined in.

“Yeah, I like the new guy too!” Megan agreed, Sasha also nodding. _Geez, what is this?! Gang up on Jean day or something?!_ I felt my hand curl into a loose fist.

“Maybe we’ll have a chanc-“. _That’s it!_ Before Connie could even finish his sentence, I had ruptured out of the room, shutting the door with enough force to produce a loud thud, which rang through the street.

 

I stood alone, hands in pockets, in the little garden around the back of Sasha’s place, staring down at the floorboards that made up the small balcony outside the back door. It had stairs that lead down to the grass. The garden we nice, quiet relaxing actually. I sighed, my head whirring with the images of my crying mother and my father’s anger. _All that time they had no idea…_

I heard the door open. I didn’t look around, just listened to the footsteps walk behind me and pause alongside. I continued to stare blankly down the floor, but recognised the pink hair flickering from the wind in the corner of my eye.

_Megan..._

We stood next to each other for several moments before I decided to shift slightly and turned next to her.

“I guess you want me to apologise?” I grumbled, still avoiding eye contact.

She was staring into the garden. “He thinks you hate him”.

 

I whipped around facing her “What!? No I don’t, I just get nervous; I mean I’m not scared of him no way! But-“ I paused, completely unable to explain myself, and turned away once again.

“Then why did you upset him?” She tilted her head forward, so she could look at my face. I stared at the floor, ashamed, letting out a large sigh.

“I-I’ve told you before, about how I used to get bullied at secondary school right?” I whispered out, as I saw her step back, trying to remember. “Well, whenever I told my parents, they did nothing. So I guess the best way I could think of dealing with it was to become their biggest problem.” I continued “I went to visit them today, and it’s easy to see that they still hate me for it.” I sighed a little. “I mean, I guess what I mean, is that I’m scared of this guy. The only people who have ever cared for me are you guys. For all I know, he could be just another Bully.” I began to come a little alarmed, remembering the thoughts I had when I first saw him. “I mean, what if he pushes someone out, or starts picking on you, or Connie? Or what if-“

“HEY!” Meg interrupted, “Calm down, please. I promise you, if Marco tries to hurt anyone, including you, he’s out. I am not going to let him do anything to you!”

I was grateful of her, but I still continued to glare at the grass that ruffled in the slight breeze.

 

She sighed. “Jean, He’s a really nice guy, I mean, it’s not his fault you were bullied? It’s not his fault you’re scared? For all you know...” She rested a comforting hand on my shoulder and I glanced in her direction. “He could be your new best friend.”

I let out a puff of a laugh, and a small smile appeared on my face. “Yeah, I guess I’m being a little silly.” I looked at my feet again.

“Now, what are you going to do after storming out on everyone?” She said, giving me a friendly nudge. _God, the amount of times we done this..._

I rolled my eyes and spoke in a mocking tone “I’m going to apologise for getting angry”

“Annnnnndd?” she replied, smiling widely.

“And I’m going to apologise to Marco for offending him.” I said, before letting out another small smile.

I gave her a hug “Thanks Meg”, I said walking back to the direction of the door. In truth she was amazingly tolerant. _I don’t know how they all put up with me…_

 

 

Upon entry I noticed all the instruments had been set up for practise. I obtained several judgemental stares.

“Well, this is fucking awkward.” I muttered under my breath, to which I received a sharp elbow-jab in the ribs from Megan.

 

 

I stood at the in front of everyone, apologising from my actions and then walked over to Marco. I stretched out my hand, giving a handshake.

“Sorry man. It’s nothing personal. I just don’t get on with ‘ _new’_ people.” He patted the back of my hand, before speaking in his soft voice.

“Nahh, it’s okay.” He shuffled over and let me stand next to him, whilst giving me a large welcoming smile. As the others scattered around the room, he leant closer to me.

“I hope you don’t mind me saying this, but I’d like you to know what amazing people you are.” I glanced at him “I mean, despite all your different personalities you all care for one another.” I looked at him partly shocked; “You’re like a little family”

He smiled and seemed to be genuine. I returned a smile.

 

We then decided to play a song together, to discover if we were really ‘band material’. Maddy persuaded the others to let me choose. There was no question about it: ‘Animal I have Become’ by _Three days grace._

_My favourite song!_

 

As Sasha printed the song sheets I watched Marco cross the room, until he reached Maddy.

“Cool bass!” Marco said. “I like the engraving, it works really well with the cream colour of the-“. I turned to Meg, giving her a peculiar look.

“Who is this guy? A fashion critique?” I joked, returning my attention to him. I noticed more freckles imprinted on his arms, his hair still faultlessly split through the middle, a friendly warm aroma spiralling off of him.

_Why the fuck didn’t I like this guy again?_

 

“See? He’s harmless. I’m sure you’ll love him.” She replied.

I turned to fiddle with the wires of the microphone. As I adjusted the height, I felt a hand playfully fuck up my hair. I swiftly glanced around to find a smiling freckled face inches away from me. _Marco!_ I let out a small laugh, and he walked to his position.

 

After a good lot of practising, we all managed to get our parts right. The sounds came together to play an almost perfect version of the song. Sasha was dancing like crazy. As the sound died, I realised how good we actually were, despite the several rather ‘creative’ words being shouted from the neighbouring house. I crept up next to Marco, and placed my hand on his shoulder.

“Nice job new guy!” I grinned. He returned a smile. I saw the others mirror his smile.

 

_Maybe Megan was right. Maybe Marco Bodt will become my best friend. Who knows..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks for reading! :D Chapter 4s should be out soon, so stay tuned :P Planning major feels and plot twists in the next chapters! 
> 
> Check out the song:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bJ7_eJrrnDo


	4. Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean is gaming with Connie whilst he gets flashbacks of Marco, and updates on what's happening in Sinai Appartments

Although that month whizzed by, I wanted it to last forever. It included some of the best times I had spent with the guys, and even better, with Marco. Despite our rough start, we became inseparable; I even spent a few nights in his spare room when Thomas’ loud gaming habits became too much.

Those nights, well, they were unforgettable. One time we had a wrestling match in his room, midway through a movie. As much as I hate to admit, he kicked my ass. I hadn’t realised how much stronger he was. We would tussle for ages, until eventually something would break, so we would delay our fight till later, and sprawl out across the floor gathering our strength once again. In those moments, our convosation would get deep, REALLY deep. He told me about his past life in a small area called Jinae. He didn’t go into much detail about it, but I felt like he was opening up to me. I would then start a convosation about Maria, but ensuring to miss out the parts were I got beat up.

Marco, or ‘freckles’ as we called him, decided to get revenge on his pathetic nickname, so now calls me ‘Jeanie-pie’ every now and then, just to piss me off.

_Honestly, I don’t mind too much; the smile on his face whenever he says it is so heart-warming. I hope I get to see him smile that like more..._

Of course, his smile a few nights ago was probably the best.

Two days ago, we had another ‘band night’, _(that’s what we call them now)._ After a few songs, we decided to have another round of ‘wizards of intoxication’ and try introducing Marco to the game. Somehow, that little innocent son-of-a-bitch had never drunk before, and I was determined to be there for his first hang-over. Of course, I was in the final of the battle, but my opponent was somehow Marco. My astonishment, that his 3 canned staff had made it through the battles, to face me. But hey, I wasn’t going to go easy on him. This was pay-back for all those wrestling matches he’d won.

Connie announced the start of the battle, where I swiftly made swings for Marco, but his body was able to avoid them. For several minutes we ended up just swinging and avoiding attacks and my patience ran low.

_Screw it!_

I then leapt across the room, tackling Marco to the floor, pinning him beneath me. I reached for my staff, and raised it above my head. I saw Sasha, Connie and Megan practically fall off of their chairs with tension, and Marco attempted to squirm his way free. _You’re not going anywhere..._ I felt my arms fall downwards, as the aluminium cans headed for Marco’s freckled face.

 

In one remarkable move, he was just able to flip his head across to the right, barely avoiding his ‘fate’ and I watched as my staff snapped in two. I stared at him for several moments, watching him and his pathetically charming smile, as dimpled appeared in his freckled cheeks.

“We have a winner!” Maddy announced, smiling and leaning back onto Eren.

 

 

 

 

“BOOM! HEADSHOT!” I practically jumped out of my skin.

“Connie you ass! I’m on your team!” I screamed back.

I heard a snigger through my headphones “Your character didn’t move, so he had it coming!”

“You’re such a dick...” I grumbled, rapidly twitching at the controller sticks, hunting down my teammate as revenge.

 

All morning I had been gaming with Connie on Call of Duty, but after a while we decided to play a new game that released named ‘ _Destiny_ ’. Destiny is an action-adventure game where a first-person shooter or ‘a Guardian’ traverses the planets and stars, fighting for our survival and to keep hope alive. To be honest, before, I would love to live in that reality; to actually be worth something. But now, because I have the others and Marco, I want to stay right here.

 

As my virtual character ran across a deserted area, I couldn’t help but think about the phone call I received last night from Armin, Maddy’s roommate. That dickhead Yeager had upset her somehow and she ran through her flat crying before barricading herself in her room. I was going to text her, but wasn’t sure how to as I’m not great with sympathetic situations and I’d probably end up upsetting her more talking about Eren. I glanced over to the clock: 3:30pm. I sighed to myself and returned my attentions to my gaming session with Connie.

 

“So how’s you and Sasha?” I asked, barely interested.

“We’re cool...” He replied, “Hey, did you hear what happened with Eren and Maddy?”

“Yeah” I replied “Kinda weird, she rarely ever cries. Whatever that ass did, it was bad...”

“Yeah...” he replied. “Do you know what he actually said?”

“No. I don’t think anyone does” I responded, pulling the trigger on the back on the remote, blasting opponents to shit.

“So how are you and Marco now-a-days?” he questioned.

“Hmm?” I replied, not concentrating on what he had said, because I was too busy on ‘try-hard’ mode.

“You and Marco!”

“Yeah we’re getting pretty close not going to lie. I’m glad I got to meet him and...” I paused.

“And?” Connie queried.

“I feel like there was a reason for me to meet him... like it was fate... no more like destiny...” I gradually uttered. A moment of silence. I squinted at the screen and took aim.

“That sounded so gay... Are you gay for Marco?”

“YES!” I victoriously cried, after blowing up a group of opponents, only then realising what Connie had said.

 

_OH FUCK!_

 

“NO! NO IM NOT! I just- kill- urgh!”

“HA GAAAAAY!” Connie screamed back.

“Oh my god! Connie shut the fuck up! Marco’s my best friend. That’s just weird!”

“I’m just kidding Jean”

“NO FUCKING HOMO!”

“Okay okay” He laughed “I’m just kidding!”

I sighed angrily.

 

_Me and my fucking timing..._

 

I heard my bedroom door click open, and I glanced over to find Thomas stood in the doorway, the flat-phone in hand.

“It’s for you” He said.

“Give me a second Connie” I said down the microphone, before removing them from my head, and walking over to Thomas to collect the phone from his hand. I nodded a thanks and he shut the door again.

“Hello?” There was silence on the other side of the phone. “Hello?!” I repeated.

“Jean?”

“This is he. Sorry, who is this?”

“Oh! It’s Armin.” _He sounded a little distracted._

“Oh hey!” I said, a little shocked “You alright?”

“Yeah I’m fine, it’s just Maddy.” He sighed.

“What actually happened?” I asked

“I don’t know. She hasn’t come out of her room all morning!” _All fucking morning?!_

“That shithole Yeager...” I muttered under my breath. Armin was a childhood friend of his, and was how Eren and Maddy actually met.

“I don’t know what he did, but she’s in a bad way...” I heard a loud buzzing noise in the background and then footsteps. Armin paused our conversation, and answered what I presumed was the door-buzzer. I just sat and listened.

“Hello?”

A muffled voice in the background could be heard. “Hey Armin, it’s me Marco, I came to see how Maddy’s doing.” For some reason, I smiled pathetically at the thought of Marco, but I was also glad he had physically gone to see Maddy.

 

_Maybe he could help..._

 

“I guess I better go.” Armin said, shuffling noises in the background.

“Yeah, guess so... If anything happens, let me know.”

“Yeah I’ll keep you updated.” He then hung up.

 

I crossed back over to my Xbox, and replaced my headphones.

“I’m back Connie” I announced.

“Alright?”

“Yeah” I sighed “It was Armin.”

“Oh right.” He said “Got anything from it?”

“Just that Maddy still hasn’t come out of her room yet...”

“Oh...”

“Well, I heard that freckles had just turned up. I guess he’ll help.” I reassured.

“Yeah I guess so.”

I grabbed my remote and un-paused my game to find myself on the re-spawn screen.

“Connie you ass!” I laughed. We continued to game for about 15 minutes until I received a text from Armin.

 

**From Armin:**

**Marco has cheered Maddy up from what I can hear, but Eren just turned up...**

_You have to be fucking kidding me..._

**To Armin:**

**Be sure it doesn’t turn any worse otherwise I’ll beat his ass!**

“Well I think it’s about to become World War three...” I sighed.

“Huh?” Connie mumbled.

“Yeager just turned up at Maddy’s apartment.”

“What?! How’d you know?”

“Armin texted me”

“This is gonna end either really good or really bad...” Connie replied.

“Yeah...” I agreed, but focused on something else, _well more like someone else._

 

_I hope he doesn’t get stuck in-between the argument..._

“Well, I better go. I got heap loads of cleaning to do.” Connie said.

“Yeah okay” I said, fully able to remember the mess of his flat the previous time I had visited.

“Seeya!”

“Bye...” As the call was ended, I gently removed my headset, and placed then on my pillow next to me.

 

_Monday afternoon and I had nothing planned..._

I stumbled to my feet, and headed through the flat hunting down for something to eat. In the kitchen I noticed my flatmate staring at the newspaper, sat at the breakfast bar, his crap spread across the worktop. I passed him, and pulled the fridge door open, to find the refrigerator completely empty.

_Where’s Maddy when you need her..._

“Are we out of food?” I grumbled, slightly turning my head.

“Yeah...” A quiet, disinterested reply.

“What the fuck did you eat today?!” I questioned “This fridge was half full this morning!”

Thomas span around on his stool to face me. “I didn’t eat it all! Nac was here. He was hung over from our outing last night and had passed out on our sofa.”

“Nac?”

“Nac Tius, the guy from our gym class”

“Oh him! I didn’t even notice.”

“That’s because you haven’t come out of your room; too busy gaming.” He laughed.

“Hey,” I grinned “Your one to talk!”

“Touché my friend, touché... You staying at Marco’s tonight?”

“I don’t know... depends on the plans later” And at that exact moment I received a text.

 

**From Sasha:**

**EMERGENCY BANDNIGHT! I have a surprise! My house tonight 5:30 ;)**

I glanced at my phone, closing the fridge, pulling a confused face.

“What is it?” Thomas asked.

“Sasha being crazy again...” I sighed “Some-sort of surprise...”

“Sounds intriguing...”

“What’s the time?” I asked.

“Err...” He said, glancing down at the watch he wore of his left wrist. “5pm”

“I’ll go get some groceries from the store down the road, and then head off, okay?”

“Yeah okay. Cheers Jean”

Walking down the hallway, I grabbed my coat of the railing and headed out the door.

 

_I hope everything gets sorted before this ‘emergency surprise’. Whatever this Sash, it better be good..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much again! XD I'm really starting to get into the planning for the next chapters. Sorry about the wait as school is taking up a majority of time at the moment :L Sorry for any grammar issues, stay tuned :P


	5. Horse-Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jean rescues Marco after a visit to the shops, where he bumps into Ymir. He then goes to Sasha's house to receive the 'surprise' with the group, where a few cheeky comments are exchanged.

“Oh Jesus fucking Christ.”

I slapped my hands up to my face and tried to snap myself out of whatever trance I was in. I head been lead on my bed just staring blankly at the ceiling for almost half an hour. I had promised Thomas I would go out grocery shopping, so I had gone back to my room to freshen up. Instead I ended up sat on my phone, before taking the opportunity for a lie down.

_And all I could even think about was that stupid freckled face…_

I slapped my forehead again and stood up. This was ridiculous – why did my brain have such an obsession with my best friend? Why did I think about him so much?

“Do I…” an image flashed into my mind as I imagined what it would be like to kiss his freckles.

“NO!” I yelled and hit my forehead again “stop it!”

I Don’t… Do I?

 

I turned to look at the clock on the wall above my bed; 5.00. I decided to stop procrastinating and left my room on the way to the front door. Thomas raised a hand from across the breakfast bar.

“Seeya, man” He said.

“Seeya” I yelled as the door closed.

The small store wasn’t too far away – literally a five minute walk. I decided that it would be best not to buy too much today, as despite being the strong and rough fighter I was, I could not be bothered to carry that entire shop home today. As I walked into the store I made a short list in my head – sandwich stuff, breakfast stuff and snack stuff – in short.

After a quick whizz round the shop’s isles, I lugged my basket over to the checkout, only to find the cashier wore a name tag which read “Ymir”. When she recognised me she scowled. I grinned and realised how much I could annoy her right now – and she couldn’t do shit.

She gave me a sarcastic smile as I began piling my things up onto the conveyer belt.

“Well, I did not know you had such a glamourous career, Ymir, eh?” I smiled, trying to act as snobbish as possible.

She continued to scowl at me as she started scanning items, using very slow and violent movements, as if my presence was torture. I decided to step it up a little.

“Oh, you know I’m in a hurry, could you hurry it up a little?” I grinned again.

Ymir sighed or almost growled through her clenched jaw, and began moving a little faster, although she was practically chucking my stuff around.

“I might just have to report that to the manager” I immediately wished I hadn’t said that, as Ymir turned to me with the most terrifying death stare I had ever seen.

“Unlike some, I put up with this shitty job for my shitty manager, because the money I earn goes towards something worthwhile” She held out her hand for my money and I cautiously handed her few notes. “Well, more like someone, really…” She sighed again, as I tried to figure out what the hell she was going on about.

“Haah?” I asked tilting my head.

She scowled at me again and shoved the bags towards me as well as my change. “Just get out of here.”

I picked up my bags and wandered out of the store and I continued to think about what she was saying; _someone worthwhile…_

My mind began to wander as I made my way home. I would do anything for any of my friends. I know I acted like an ass a lot, but I did have a heart. And then I realised that this heart was aching.

I furrowed my brow. My chest indeed did have a heavy ache and my mind scrambled for a reason. I was missing someone? No, more like longing.

“Fucking brain...”I muttered to myself. I rubbed my eyes with the back of my hand and turned onto Marco’s street. I didn’t have to go this way, but I did it anyway.

“PUNCH ME I DARE YOU!” That voice sounded too familiar. I turned to see who those dicks where picking on this time. I peered down the street.

I saw some poor hooded bastard surrounded. I winced as one of the three assholes around him punched him in the gut. I cautiously walked towards the group. _Should I help?_

The guy being picked on was then slammed against a nearby wall, and I saw his hood being ripped back to reveal dark hair and red cheeks dusted with freckles.

_OH FUCK NO._

“Marco…” I dropped all shit right there and then allowing groceries to scatter along the pavement as I broke in to a run towards Marco. I watched in horror as the so called ring leader pulled his fist back again, about to hit the shaking, winded friend of mine. Rage took over my mind.

_How dare they hurt him._

“STOP!” I heard myself almost growl at his attackers and watched as they froze at the sight of me. They were scared, they remembered Jean Kirschtein.

I felt my breath grow ragged as I closed in.

“OH SHIT! IT’S KERSCHTIEN!” _Run you dipshits._

They began to hurry away but one of them was too slow, I went for his face as he turned to look in panic. I caught his cheek and sent him crashing to the floor. I stood back as defence between them and Marco and watched as the fat kid jumped up and ran after the others.

I watched them through red eyes and stood breathing heavily, listening to my blood running through my head.

_How dare they._

I clenched my jaw as my anger turned to adrenaline; I began to wander if I should run after them.

I heard Marco move and wince in pain. _Oh shit…_

My anger instantly subsided and turned to concern, I looked down at Marco and said “You okay?”. He looked up at me, and just seeing his adorable freckles made me grin. _Yeah, that’s right, I saved your ass!_

“Yeah… Thanks man” I pulled him to his feet and realised how close I had pulled him to me. _Maybe he needs a hug??_

I yelled at my brain for being such a homo and compensated with patting him on the back… I really hope he didn’t realise.

He followed me down the road until I found my shopping previously abandoned on the pavement. I picked up my shit and turned in the direction of Marco’s flat. I thought about those dick who dared hurt my friend.

“Ignore those shits next time Marco. They can be a bit of a handful…” I felt a twinge of hatred for them. I remembered them.

“You sound like you speak from experience.” He was right, but I don’t think I was quite ready to tell him about how the great Jean Kirschtein was bullied by anyone and everyone. _What would Marco think of me then?_

“Nah” I lied “just know them from where they were dicks to Armin in Maria”. That was partially true, anyways. The images flashed through my head and I decided to change the subject. “Anyways, where you off to?”

“I was just heading home, going to get my guitar. Did you get the text from Sasha?” He asked.

“Yeah. I just got some groceries for Thomas, and then I’m gonna head over there, need a lift?”

_Yes please?_

“No thanks” My heart sank. _I did not know it could do that…_ “I’ll walk. Besides you’re always late”

I pouted and watched him laugh at me. _Was I really that bad?_

I looked up to see the Rose apartments gates. “Suit yourself” I smiled. But for some reason, my disappointment for having to leave him took over my head. _What is wrong with me today?_

I turned in the direction of home, and called over my shoulder “I’ll see you later!”

“JEAN!” I turned lightning fast to see Marco stood in his doorstep. For some reason my stomach fluttered. _This is so weird._

“Hmm?” Was all I could manage.

“Thanks again!” He said and smiled.

Adorable…

I smiled back and then turned away to walk home, swinging the shopping back and forth. I felt so proud of myself. I had just saved Marco Bodt’s life. Kinda… but still, he owed me big time. I grinned to myself.

I entered my flat to find it empty. I looked at the clock 5:15. I had ages.

I packed up the cupboards and fridge with the few things I had bought. I wandered to the small sofa by the TV and switched it on, scrolling through the channels until I found yet another advert for “Colossal talent”. I remembered how that had been the reason we’d started the band, why we’d met Marco… _The amazing Marco ._ I found myself smiling at the thought of him.

I slapped my hand to my forehead again as I realised what I was doing. I got up and paced around; trying for the love of god to figure out what my head was doing to me. Why did I keep thinking of him? Why does he affect me so much? Why do I like being with him so much?

“Shit!” I raged to myself. I stood staring at the wall for a moment. This was all so confusing, my best friend should not be concerning me this much… I mean he was my BEST FRIEND, but this was ridiculous. I leant my forehead against the wall and sighed.

I decided that rather than over thinking the situation too much, it would be easier just to go along with whatever was going on. I couldn’t be bothered to fight with my own head. I turned to see the clock; 5:26.

“Oh fuck!” Marco was right, I was going to be late.

I grabbed keys and coat and dashed out to my car, driving carefully to Sasha’s in record timing. I arrived just in time to find Maddy, Sasha, Connie, Meg and Marco sat around the place. I suddenly remembered what had happened to Maddy the previous day and my anger returned.

“Maddy! You okay?”

“Yeah I’m okay” She said. _Thank god._

“I’ll beat the shit into that asshole Yeager!” I watched in confusion as Meg turned red once id said that.

“Bit late for that” Marco said and the others giggled. _What the?_

I watched Marco until he turned to me again and felt my stomach flip. I gave an awkward smile and hoped to god he didn’t catch me staring. The others then began to fill me in on what happened. Marco helping out Maddy and Eren, What happened with Meg and Levi and what I found hilarious was the part where that shrimpy little midget beat up Yeager! Afterwards we sat down in the living room and I made sure I sat next to Marco, where we exchanged smiles. I guess he was still thankful that I saved his ass.

Minutes later there was a knock at the door and I couldn’t help my grin to myself, as I watched black-eyed-Eren walk in and sit next to Maddy.

“Is that everybody now?” I asked.

I watched as Sasha shook her head. I wandered who else would be coming and my question was answered as Meg’s eyes grew wide in what appeared to be horror. Just as she was about to say something He walked through the door. Levi wandered in as if were his own home, holding a packet of some sort. He gave it to Sasha and said “go make yourself useful, and don’t eat it”.

I like this guy already.

Sash hopped up and walked to the kitchen, and Levi sat down next to Eren, who visibly coward against him. I realised Meg also seemed a little off with his presence. I reminded myself to check up on her later. When Sasha returned with milkshakes, I grabbed one and decided to make Eren’s life even better.

“Hey Levi” I said, and glanced towards Eren who was avoiding all eye contact.

“hmf?” was my reply.

“Nice job” I grinned and nodded in Eren’s direction. This was hilarious.

“A vast improvement to his face.” I laughed a little and watch Eren stare to the floor as Levi side glanced in his direction. But then he continued.

“Unfortunately Jean, yours still resembles that of a horse.” I felt my entire sense of human self, go down the drain. Meg did not help by laughing and my smile disappeared. I saw Eren grinning at me. _You bastard._

Once Meg had shut up Maddy decided to try break the tension. “Okay Sasha, what’s the big surprise??”

Sasha hopped up and retrieved a large brown envelope from the desk in the corner of the room. She returned and clapped her hands together.

“Right, you guys want to know why I’ve summoned you here?” I chimed in with a chorus of “yes’s” before she continued. “As most of you can probably remember, at the party after we left Maria at Meg’s house, we watched that movie and the talent show audition adverts came up. We discussed it but decided we couldn’t do it because we didn’t have a guitarist right?” I watched the others as she spoke very quickly.

“Well, since we’ve got Marco now…” Sasha held up the envelope and waved it about. “I got you guys an audition!” she yelled.

My jaw dropped. _Holy crap we’re gonna be on TV._

Connie spoke up “Are you for real?! THAT’S AWESOME!” he stood and grabbed the envelope and tore it open, inspecting the paperwork.

“Woah woah woah, hold the phone” I turned to Meg as she waved her milkshake around, “You actually did that?”

Sasha nodded in return. “I researched it and got you a slot.”

“This is actually legit” Connie mumbled, still staring at the pieces of paper.

Sash crossed her arms and grinned, “I know people”

 _This is fuckin’ amazing; we’re seriously going to do this._ Then I realised something, after all the band meetings we’d had and all that, we hadn’t actually thought of a name.

“Guys…” I began “Before we go having fits of excitement don’t we need a name?”

“Yeah” Marco replied “Anyone got any idea?”

That was follow by a shit load of talking, ideas flying around. My input was “Jean and the Mean Teens”. I didn’t think it was too bad, but Eren seemed to find it hilarious. Another name that came and went was “The reluctant Heroes” but that seemed a little drastic. After that we became flat out of ideas.

“Hey guys?” Maddy spoke up through the idle chatter. “What about, ‘wings of freedom’?”

_That’s god damn bloody perfect!_

“Yeah I love it!” Sasha said

“Yeah me too” Eren and I said.

I saw the others nod in agreement. It was just what we needed.

“Wings it is then” Connie made the announcement as it went down on the paper. I glanced over to Meg and remembered how awkward she looked earlier.

“Wings…” She mumbled. I watched Marco lean over and tap her on the head.

“What’s going on in there, eh Pink?”

She pulled out her phone and began tapping the screen. She then placed it on the coffee table between the chairs and everyone leaned in to see.

A small logo was displayed on screen. Two pairs of wing, blue and white where positioned behind the shape of a shield, on top of which two swords lay crossed with a key in the centre. Red rose vines lay intertwined amongst the whole thing. I continued to stare; Meg had some fucking talent.

“I drew it months ago, and I just remembered”

I leaned back again as Levi picked up her phone. I watched him carefully, still not sure what to make of him. “How on earth do you do that?” He said. I saw Meg grin and I looked at Sasha who winked. I gave her a look of disgust and she laughed. I didn’t like Levi too much. I started to feel very protective of Meg,

“It’s perfect!” Marco piped up “We could get T-shirts and everything” I had to laugh at that. _God his laugh is adorable._

“Yeah good idea!” Sasha joined in “If we do well, a little merchandise wouldn’t hurt eh?” I laughed again.

“Whoa, sow down now, we need to concentrate on practise and getting in first!” Maddy brought us back down to earth.

“She’s right” Eren said. “You haven’t won yet”

I started to go through the rest of the paperwork with Connie and Sasha. Once it was done we decided to play one song. We chose “Bones” by young guns.

After a while, we managed to put the notes together. It was our first play of the song, and despite a few missed notes, it didn’t sound half bad.

Eren and Sasha stood up to clap and we walked over in a huddle and I looked back to see Meg still stood behind her keyboard. She was staring at the floor. I felt concern shoot through me as I looked at Maddy, who had also seen. I looked back to see the expressionless Levi walk up to her with another milkshake in hand. I began to scowl at him as I watched him. Was he the reason she’s so upset? If so he is so dead.

Levi placed a hand on her shoulder and held the milkshake up. He then leaned in very close to her ear and whispered something. She smiled.

“Fine. You’re forgiven” She said, and took the milkshake. I scowled again as they walked over with his arm around her shoulders. It was his fault. What did that bastard do to her?

He looked over to see Maddy and I watching. I gave him death stare yet he remained expressionless. I did not look away until Maddy nudged me.

“You know what guys” Sasha spoke “With a bit of practise, that’d be great as your audition” I saw Connie grin.

“That would be amazing! We could make a bunch of edits for a drum solo-” Hang on…

“In that case I think Marco deserves a guitar solo” I said. I smiled at him. He was too good not to get one.

The suggestions went on and on.

_We are going to blow them away!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading :3 This is where the JeanMarco feels truly begin! Hopefully the next chapters should be up soon, stay tuned :)
> 
> Be sure to follow me on Tumblr for updates about the series :):  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/madelineamyjayne


	6. Unwanted

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wings of Freedom's audition where one of the judges have bad news for the group.

The moment had arrived, and we were stood together in a small huddle backstage of the Imperial arena. Throughout the day we’ve watched various acts flee from the stage, either ecstatic or devastated _– it_ _mainly the negative._

 

I heard Marco and Maddy happily strum away, practicing the chords and combination of notes they would need for the song. Connie was instructing the stage crew how to get his gear set up perfectly, in order for his drum solo to rock the stadium. Megan was quiet, too quiet. And I was stood facing away from my band-mates, but towards the stage where a group of young dancers scattered the stage.

 

“Dude, it’ll be fine!” Connie said out of nowhere. I returned my attentions to the group, to find Megan shaking from nerves and Connie attempting to calm her.

“Besides, it’s not the end of the world if we don’t pass through; it was fun just doing this together, right?” Maddy chimed in.

“Yeah” I agreed “But it would still be pretty cool if we got through to the live shows.” I smiled towards Marco, trying to almost shield my nerves. As much as I hate to admit it, I was as scared as Megan was. I felt the pressure. _What if I ruin everything!?_

 

No sooner than I thought it, the judge had reminded me of the system, and a loud buzzing sound erupted the arena, almost making the floor shake from the violence of tone. We all swiftly turned to the direction on the sound, to see one of the dance crew members on his ass. _Well, he’s fucked that up. Let’s just hope I don’t do the same..._ I sighed to myself, and felt the others walk up slightly behind.

“Everybody remember what they have to do?” Connie asked, trying to change the tone.

“Yeah” Maddy responded “Marco and I will be backup singers for Jean and you and Meg need to do the intro.” Before anything else could be mentioned, the TV crew and host had joined the circle, to prepare the 104th act of the day ‘Wings of Freedom’.

“You ready?” He asked us, as the camera-man circled around him, to zoom up on us. I gave a brief nod, and turned to the stage, as the previous act ran off, red-faced or crying. _That didn’t go well..._

“Wings fly free” I whispered in time with the others, as I lead them on-stage.

 

I stood at the far right, allowing the others enough room to stand shoulder to shoulder, facing the judges. I tightened my grip around my microphone, as I watched the audience stare us down, recognising Yaeger, Sasha and Levi sat together in the front row to the left. _Who could blame them? Most of the acts today were shit!_ The first judge, who was a comedian I showed Maddy before leant forward into the microphone.

“Hello! Who are you and where are you from?”

I took on roll as the ‘leader’ of the band, stepping forward and raising the microphone to my mouth.

“My names Jean” I paused, sharing looks with the others, pointing at each individually “These are my band mates, Connie, Megan, Maddy and Marco and we’re ‘Wings of Freedom’”

 

“HELL YEAH!” I glanced over in the direction of the comment, at the same time the audience did. _Levi!_ I could hear whispered being shared between members of the audience.

“Looks like you already have a fan” the judge smiled. I cracked a small laugh, glancing down at the floor for a few second, before returning my attentions to the judging panel. The next was a female, _probably some-sort of fashion designer._

“You guys don’t seem that old, how old are you?”

“We’re 16/17 years old; Connie and Megan are the youngest.” Maddy answered, smiling. She didn’t look at all shaky or even bothered that she was stood centre stage of arena filled with thousands. _She’s one fucking brave girl! I’ll give her that._

“Wow! You’re pretty brave coming on here, well good luck!” the judge responded, before waving her hand in our direction “The stage is yours.”

 

We split, Maddy and Marco heading to both sides of the stage, Connie going to the back, settling on his drum stood, and Megan in-line of Connie to the left, standing behind her keyboard. I walked forward, placing the microphone into the holder, scanning the room one last time, before exhaling heavily. I glanced over my shoulder in Marco’s direction, and nodded. He smiled back, returning the nod. _It’s now or never..._

 

The music began, quiet but then burst into a sudden wave of strumming and drums. About 20 seconds in, my time had come.

“Down under the night sky, I lie and wait. Praying to who-ever, will listen to me...” It was a good start, but we had a whole song to go, and something could easily mess up. I looked towards the judges to find the female judge bopping her head in time to the music, and the comedian had risen from his chair, and was dancing around. The crowd were cheering and roared with excitement as I felt a rush of wind from behind. I quickly glanced back to find Marco and Maddy back to back, strumming at their instruments. _We’ve got this!_ I ripped the microphone from the holder, dragging the wire behind me.

“OH! I’ll never let go again.... I feel it in my BONES!” I sang, with my all my heart

“Bones!”

“BONES!”

“Bones!” Marco and Maddy replied to my singing. _Everything is going to plan!_

 

The following verse, Marco’s guitar solo flooded the arena, followed by screaming in the audience and literally having the whole arena on their feet. The song was coming to an end, and we were putting everything into the last seconds.

“I know I’m not alone....” followed by various mumbles on ‘bones’ until the arena fell silent. I could hear Marco breathing from the other side of the stage. My heart was pounding.

 

The whole room rose in sync to their feet, applauding so loudly that the noise was almost deafening. I felt arms wrap around me from behind, and turned to find everyone huddled in a group, and Marcos hand wrapped around my waist. _I swear I felt my cheeks blush!_ We huddled together exchanging smiles, listening to the roaring of the crowd.

“We did it! We actually did it!” Megan screamed with excitement. That’s when it hit me. _We’re not done..._

“It’s not over yet” I said, pulling out of the huddle, returning my attentions to the judges as the crowd began to settle, and the others joined me, stood shoulder to shoulder once again, but this time, more confident.

 

“WOW! That is what we’ve been looking for! I mean, you have this chemistry between every one of you, that really shows through your performance and I loved it!” The female judge commented, a large smiled plastered across her face.

“Well! That was unexpected. You guys are so young but you’re so filled with talent. You’re going places, kids!” The comedian judge joined in. I heard a small sigh of relief come from Marco, as I felt the tension of the room fade away. I exchanged a look with him. I saw his freckled cheeks blush, and I let out a small smile, before returning my attention to the panel.

“I hate to be the killjoy but...” I had forgotten about the third judge – the strictest of them all, and he didn’t look pleased. _Oh no..._ “I can’t help feeling you need to drop someone from the band.” I felt my body seize up with horror. _This can’t be happening._ The crowd emanated with boos, one particular phrase ‘SHUT THE HELL UP’ could be heard throughout the arena. _That short ass guy is pretty loud for his height._

“I mean” he started, shrugging “With the strong backup vocals from Marco and Maddy, I feel like Jean isn’t needed here...” My heart dropped, as did my head. I used my fringe as a field from the world, letting the stands block the hatred towards me. “I think with the five of you, you’ll get held back by him in my personal opinion.” Another wave of boos roared from the audience as he continued to take stabs at me; the weakened boy with no hope. _Ever get that moment when you feel totally worthless? Like nobody even cares if you leave or not? That’s how I felt today, right now, in this moment. I was the one holding them back..._

I heard the gentle tap of boots across the stage, and felt a cold, thin hand remove the microphone form my palm. I didn’t even move, I couldn’t look at my band, the people I was letting down.

“We came here as a group today, half expecting it to go wrong: a missed chord, or some sort of a mistake” I instantly recognised the voice as Maddy. She sighed before continuing. “But, we’ve always stuck together no matter what. And honestly I think I speak for the rest us when I say: we came here as a five... and we are sure as hell leaving as a five!” A happy cheer of the audience flooded the room. I briefly looked up to locate her, before giving her a tight hug, as she returned the microphone to me.

“Thank you...” I whispered, before we returned our attentions back to the judge. _It was time for them to vote._

 

“I vote yes” The comedian judge smiled, leaning forward over the desk.

“Me too!” The female judge agreed. We were in. I saw Marco glance to me from the corner of my eye. I looked to him, to find him giving me a reassuring smile. My heart fluttered, and warmed to the sight of him. _I hope I get to see him smile like that more often!_ My arm was lifted along with the others as Megan had formed a chain of celebration. I lowered my hands, pulling down the others as I looked over in the direction of the third judge, giving him a cocky grin. _Yeah that’s right dickhead! We got through!_ He scanned Maddy through before leaning forward into the thin microphone attached to his desk.

“I respect your bravery” he said, pointing in her direction “And for that, alongside your talent... I too vote yes.”

 

I heard Marco probably let out the most girlish scream a seventeen year old guy could ever do, as he almost rugby tackled me to the floor. We laughed together, as the others joined out hug. _We’ve done it, despite what dickhead judge thinks, Wings of Freedom have done it!_

 

I stood outside my apartment building waving down the road towards a little beige fiat driving down the road. Maddy had dropped myself and Eren off, before taking Marco home. I trekked up four flights of stairs, before unlocking my flat door, and strolling into the kitchen. Thomas was sat in the kitchen, reading a newspaper.

“What the fuck are you doing man?” I asked, walking past towards the coffee machine.

“Just catching up on the headlines” he said, before placing it on the table. “So how’d it go?!”

“Where do I start!?” I laughed, pouring a coffee and settling next to him, updating him on the news.

 

“No fucking way! That dickhead wanted to drop you from the band?!”

“Yup. But Maddy made a stand and now we’re in!”

“Dude! That’s epic!”

I tilted my head back, letting out a laugh. I rose to my feet, ditching my mug in the sink. “Anyways Thomas, I’m going to bed. I’m bloody shattered!” I laughed.

“Okay, Seeya in the morning.”

 

I sluggishly walked into my room, removing my shirt, and wrestling on my pyjama trousers. I jumped into my bed, pulling the duvet up to my waist, before grabbing my phone from my bedside table, opening my messages.

 

**To Marco:**

**Good luck tomorrow, I remember you mentioning you had a test. I believe in you man!**

 

Before I even locked the screen, I received a response.

 

**From Marco:**

**Thanks Jean! I have the fabulous tips of the driving God Kerstin, HOW COULD IT GO WRONG? :P**

I chuckled to myself, happily tapping in a response.

 

**To Marco:**

**DAMN RIGHT! ;D Good job today tho, we needed you.**

The next text I received from him caught me off-guard.

**From Marco:**

**All of us were needed including you! That judge was wrong; you’re a part of who we are. You’re a part who I am**

I felt my cheeks blush. _He really cared about me that much? Megan was right the first day I met him, he was my best friend... but was he more than that? The other day I fantasised about him all the fucking time! Is it a sign? Could I be? No..._

I struggled for a while trying to reply to him, without sounding incredibly gay. Eventually, i was able to message him back.

 

**To Marco:**

**NO FUCKING HOMO XD But seriously thanks, that means a lot.**

I realised after sending it, I had take a full 30 minutes trying to think of some-sort of reply. I probably fucking woke him up!

 

**From Marco:**

**It’s true, every word of it ;)** **What you doing now?**

 

I instantly replied, trying not to delay him again.

**To Marco:**

**I’m led in bed, just texting my beautiful bae, Mr. Bodt ;)**

I knew how much he cringed at people saying ‘bae’, so I thought I would do it just to piss him off. Of course I received a cocky reply

 

**From Marco:**

**‘No fucking homo’ Jean :P**

I laughed to myself, before tapping at the screen once again.

 

**To Marco:**

**STFU XD I was complimenting you. Anyways I better get some shut eye, night Marco!**

 

I placed my phone on my table, before rolling over, making myself in a type of duvet burrito. I rustled down into the warmth of my bed, before hearing my phone buzz. And again, before it went absolutely haywire! I agitatedly rolled back, retrieving my phone to find 13, _YES FUCKING 13!_ messages from my dear friend Marco Bodt.

 

**From Marco:**

**NOOOOO! YOU AINT LEAVING MEH**

**JEAN**

**JEAN**

**JEAN**

**NO**

**NO SLEEP**

**4 U**

**ARE YOU ASLEEP YET?**

**ARE YOU ASLEEP YET?**

**ARE YOU ASLEEP YET?**

**ARE YOU ASLEEP YET?**

**ARE YOU ASLEEP YET?**

 

I tried to ignore it, but it continued going for a good several minutes, until eventually I admitted defeat and replied to him, slightly angry, but happy at the same time.

 

**To Marco:**

**OMG MARCO STFU! SLEEP, MOTHERFUCKER, I NEED IT as do you! You have a fucking driving exam tomorrow, GO TO FUCKING SLEEP!**

 

Soon enough, another text came through.

 

**From Marco:**

**Night Jean :3**

I sighed to myself, cracking a smile

 

**To Marco:**

**Goodnight.**

That night, I slept soundly with the warm feeling of success and friendship in my heart. As much as he denies it, Marco has changed my life for the better.

 

The following morning, I was mindlessly scrolling through channels on the TV, a warm mug of coffee in hand. I stopped when it came to the news, as i remember finding Thomas reading the newspaper. _Maybe something interesting has happened?_ I glanced out to the corridor as I heard Thomas stirring in the corridor.

“Morning!” I laughed.

“Alright?” He replied, before flopping next to me on the sofa. I watched his jaw drop in shock.

“What is it?” I asked, nudging him. He lifted a single finger, pointing toward the TV. I traced the hand to the screen where a photo of me and the band was displayed on the screen.

“SHIT!” WHERES THE REMOTE!?” I slammed the mug onto the table, before jumping to my feet, rapidly searching under pillows for the remote. I found it and rapidly turned, raising the volume.

_Wings of freedom, the 104 th act of last night’s Colossal Talent auditions has caused a storm amongst the online world. After a fan put up a video of their performance it was followed by a storm of other home made movies taken in the audience that evening. The band has become an overnight sensation”_

 

“I don’t believe it...” Thomas whispered.

“SHH!” I snapped, concentrating fully on the screen

 

_“During their audition, one of the judges tried to break them apart by suggesting the removal of one of their band mates. Bass player Maddy shocked the audience by stepping up to the mark and proving they had what it takes to make it through to the live rounds. Not only is that, but their version of “Bones” By young guns now favourite by many, even before the actual episode was aired!”_

“HOLY SHIT!” I laughed, pulling out my phone.

_“Wings of Freedom's audition will be aired this Saturday night."_

“I’ve gotta tell Marco!” I said, tapping at the screen. _I can’t believe this!_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading! In one of the next chapters I am planning go have a massive cliff banger, so be sure to keep up with them! Alternatively, keep up with the other POV's or check out the 'Pages' jeanmarco fix I've just started! Again thank you guys for reading, and stay tuned ;)

**Author's Note:**

> Jeans version of the series :D Thanks for reading again, stay tuned :)


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